meet me or not, i'm out of control
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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