dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
