Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
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the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
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She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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