so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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