Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
