Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
