we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
