Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
