just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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