I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
