My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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