I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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