this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
