YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
