Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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