Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
