The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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