I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
