Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
