Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
