can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
