Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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