she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she told me i tasted like america
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
