What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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