oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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