You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
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i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
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Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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