He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
