Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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