I puked a lego.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
