Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
