Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize