Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
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Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
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In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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