I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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