just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I think my fart just growled at me.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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