oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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