I think im going to throw up on grandma
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize