why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
