MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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