If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
