All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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