He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
