This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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