Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
