this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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