I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
