I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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