you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
