just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
