Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
