Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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