We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
my liver is dry heaving
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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