it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
