Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
