I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize