Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
