I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
