Moan for me like Helen Keller
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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