I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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