well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
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I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
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Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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