You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
