Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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