You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize