well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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