We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
