Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
