what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
