hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
