so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
