I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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