I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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