You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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