Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
